btr fanfic links

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a banging thank-you

Published September 5, 2012 by veryjaneeyre

Okay! This thing that I whined about here and sort of cheered about here, is posted.

Before you get the link (haha!), you have to understand that the monster (as I’ve been calling it lately) would not have been written without the help of two very fabulous women: garnetice (C) and shisou_eimin (M).

C had the task of editing the damn thing.

But even before I got to that stage, she also had to handle me whining at her during every step of the process. It started with the difficulty of coming up with an idea. Quickly followed by me complaining that no one wanted to be my beta. It progressed into me (not so) jokingly threatening to quit every time she stated she “might die”. (How many times was that, C? Like 2 or 3?) It ended with me screwing up at every turn, an almost computer implosion (the blue screen of death appeared at one point!) and a few versions of the monster being sent her way.

I’m sure there were several points where she asked herself why she talked me into the bang. She deserves so much respect for dealing with me…. Go read her stuff. She’s the one who I talk about here and in paragraph 4 here.  She’s so awesome that even her notes on my errors are humorous. Here are couple of excerpts:

The ride to the deli is quiet but – comma after quiet. [removed], commas are our friends.

Getting on Logan’s nerves but before – commaaaa. Lol, okay, so I’m going to stop pointing these out because I’m sensing a theme, and it’s probably obnoxious for you to have me go COMMA COMMA COMMA. Generally, you’re going to need a comma before the but always; control f them all and insert those suckers. ❤ (Funny story here, C. I once had a teacher who told me to stop doing this very thing and that’s why they were all missing. And it wasn’t obnoxious at all!)

You might get some crit for it from the serious shippers, tbqh, because people are fans of happy endings, but they can go fuck themselves. This? Wins everything.

See what I mean? Awesome.

M, on the other hand, was my artist. Her lovely contribution is here. (She too writes amazing stuff…find it here.)

She also got the brunt of my whining through various forms of communication: email, text, twitter. Next time I might try carrier pigeon.

M was my drill sergeant when I needed to be kicked/pushed and didn’t shoot me when I went and completely changed the ending on her.

It’s also thanks to her that the monster has had so many views already despite being posted for such a short amount of time.

M continues to be my sounding board for a great many things. She is simply amazing.

Seriously, I don’t know how either of them put up with me, but I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you both.

The monster.


and the moral of today’s story is….

Published April 20, 2012 by veryjaneeyre

All this time to make amends;
what do you do when all your enemies are friends?
-Monkey Wrench,
Foo Fighters

Welcome back, Complaint Friday. Last week was a shitty week, work-wise, and I didn’t need you. This week was shitty for personal reasons and I’m glad to have you back.

I may have done one of the stupidest things, ever. I signed up for a big bang. Big bangs, for all of you people who aren’t currently being seduced by (fan)fiction, are works of fiction written and…you know what? Follow this link for more.

Anyway, the big bang has a minimum of 15,000 words. I don’t think I know 15,000 words. Even if I do know that many words (obviously a great many will be repeated), I don’t have an idea to carry me for that long. I struggled to hit 5k with Star and failed. How the hell am I going to hit15k???

In more practical matters, I’ve been pissed off by someone who I considered to be a friend. Apparently, I didn’t rate as such in her book because she laid into me over something incredibly stupid. Guess what? Not everything I say is inappropriate, so if you have examples, I’ll be more than willing to listen to what they are so I don’t repeat those mistakes.

A better option would have been to pull me aside at those times and say, “I found that to be inappropriate.” At that point, I could have apologized and learned from my mistake. Instead, you kept quiet, so it couldn’t have been that bad.

And finally, if you consider me to be socially awkward and annoying, that’s great. No one’s forcing you to be friends with me. I guess it’s time to stop pretending because I don’t need this bullshit in my life. Thanks for the trust reminder. I won’t be making that mistake with you again.

call me captain backfire

Published April 2, 2012 by veryjaneeyre

I just wanna be liked,
just wanna be funny,
looks like the joke’s on me-
so call me Captain Backfire.
-My Stupid Mouth
, John Mayer

Despite a verbal confirmation today that I really am likable (boy do I have her snowed), I have the funny thing down a bit better. At least, I think I do. Read this and you be the judge.

I wrote it for for this awesome girl I know. I may go back and work my original idea into something usable too. (M- if I do this, I’m holding it hostage. Its ransom would be my sequel. :))

I started reading a new book last night. It’s the second book of a trilogy, set in a dystopian society. Which happen to inspire a nightmare or two. Fun. Guess I need to stop reading right before bed.

The next six weeks are going to be hell. I ask that they move quickly. I hope that I find reasons to smile.

the source(s) of my crankiness

Published February 6, 2012 by veryjaneeyre

Also to be known as 3 reads and a (holy crap! I) wrote this.

This book was brought to my attention by this blog. I loved the Barnes and Noble ebook sample enough to put myself on the waiting list for it at my public library. I’m glad I did. I read through this book in the space of a day and a half because I just couldn’t put it down. When I did, I wanted to be reading it some more. Mindy Kaling is hilarious and I might start watching The Office just because of her.

I found this book strictly by accident. I was trolling the public library’s website, looking for an available book to download because I was jonesing for something new. The cover pulled me in. My memory is mostly fiction? I have too many friends on Facebook? (FB has my current count in the low 70s. Just how many is too many? I don’t know yet, I haven’t gotten that far.) I’m deluding myself in another 48 ways? (How can I make the madness stop? From what I’ve read so far, the madness can never be stopped. Oh, well then. I guess I’ll stop worrying about it now.) And there’s this thing called the normalcy bias which causes you to pretend everything is perfectly normal even when (or especially when) an emergency/disaster is happening. Scary.

I haven’t started reading this one yet, but it got rave reviews from my sister. It’s about this girl who is shown her “match” but he is different than who society officials (who make all the choices in everyone’s lives) are telling her to love. She then rebels (surprise, I know) and things happen. This book is the first book of a trilogy and according to, book 3 is not due out until the end of November 2012. I really might be cranky by then.

Here’s the wrote: You Are The Star That Shines. You can thank Jason Mraz for the inspiration and my sister for the “M” rated part. She kept saying I was going to write that stuff, so I sorta did. (Ha.)

to keep you in the loop

Published October 8, 2011 by veryjaneeyre

I got stuck(!) in a Superstar, Paralyzed loop on this morning. For about twenty minutes. To make things a bit clearer, this was never my intention; I just enjoyed it once I was there. (Superstar’s choreography is just goofy but! Carlos sings!!)

I started off at, thinking I was finally going to watch the season premiere of House, only to find that I need to subscribe to hulu+ for that to happen through hulu. Fuck you, hulu. I’m not paying a monthly fee just because I cannot currently access my tivo.

So then I went to watch last night’s episode of Fringe. Awesome, not on hulu+ but I can’t watch that either because it just aired and has to be 8 days behind tv airing. Grrrr. Being Erica has not started its new season over here in the US, so that was out.

It was kind of a joke that led me to look for BTR on hulu. All of the BTR videos link back to and that’s how I ended up where I did. Plus, according to, there are 2 new BTR episodes this week. This makes me very happy. I also found a cargan story where I didn’t feel like Carlos was out of character and that’s because it’s a rps fic.

And I might have a thing for facials.

Anywho, just watch the videos and get ready for album #2 from BTR. ***Updated since the Paralyzed video was taken off of youtube. Click here to get immersed in the loop of awesome on nick (gloating Kendall at the beginning of the Paralyzed clip is just a bonus…). I changed out the video with something even sweeter. BTR + Beatles = LOVE.***

i’m hanging on

Published July 18, 2011 by veryjaneeyre

You said that I will be okay.

I’ve been sleeping really badly again. So many f’in nightmares plaguing me. I’m to the point where I’m dreading going to sleep because I’m just going to dream about being chased.

And it’s not like I’m clueless as to why my mind keeps conjuring up these images of me running away from something awful; I just don’t want to confront those thoughts/feelings at the moment. Maybe if I just finally broke and cried, the dreams would stop. Too bad that’s unlikely since my tears have been on lockdown for a few weeks now. Damn defense mechanism.

The dreams are starting to affect my awake hours too now. I’ve been feeling so uneasy. Blue gave me one of his grimace “smiles” today and I could barely twist the corners of my lips upward in reply. It certainly did not reach my eyes. And for some reason outside of my grasp, right now, I really want him to notice that I’m not okay and offer to talk it out with me. But that would mean that he has to care, which despite all the crap we just went through, he still cannot bring himself to do. At least, not the way I need him to.

So I’m stuck trying to temper the bad feelings with all the fluff fanfic I can read. Fics like this one. Or humorous fics like this one. Or even smutty fics like this one. Basically I’m avoiding the angst fics like it’s my job. Which, of course, means that I’m not reading my favorite writer’s work, thankfully she hasn’t posted something new in the last few days. Read all of her works here now. Maybe I should go back and see if I can get anything to inspire a few tears. At most, they usually instill a deep sense of melancholy in me- the non-happy ending ones that is. Read this one; it’s got Transformers, humor and my deep dislike for Michael Bay (only in the author’s notes, sadly) mixed with a little smut, some Megan Fox bashing and a happy ending (wink, wink).

I wish I could foresee a moment in time where I won’t feel like I’m about to crack.