I wish I could say that I went out and got a life and that explains my absence, but alas, that did not happen.
I have done some things however, like: attend my sister’s baby shower, struggle writing this thing again this year, and go to my 3rd BTR concert.
BTR at Mohegan Sun 7/20/13.
If anyone read this post, sister and I were in the same damn section. (I mean, hooray for not having to deal with stairs, signs, or having to stand for the entire show.)
Time for the obligatory video. My niece hijacked her mom’s brain, so she was a little slow on the uptake and the first couple of seconds are missed. Still pretty damn good. My only complaint is that I would have loved a full version of Crazy For U.
Time to stop procrastinating.
If only I had a good thought in my head.
Hey! I’m not dead. (Although last weekend, I almost was.)
However, this is nothing more than another procrastination post. I should be working on my big bang but I keep grabbing onto every distraction I can because…I can. Think of this video as a visual summary of my bang (sorta):
If watching that gave you a few ideas, you might be in a better position than me, but it encompasses a few of the key elements of what will eventually be my story.
I have a vague “outline”, a few unclear ideas and no real end result. What I need to do is to make notes and get my shit together so that if I actually get a confirmation about my requested time off, I will be writing some of that time. (I hope.)
In the meantime, I think I’m going to rewatch Sherlock take the Reichenbach Fall…because I can. Also because watching it the first time with a hurt brain doesn’t help catch the nuances. Or be able to read the texts on the screen.
Well, it sucks, to be honest.
-Shadow Days, John Mayer
Yet another procrastination post…with a bonus of introspection!
So yesterday, M and I accidentally got into a srs bsns (serious business) conversation. I may have scared her a little. Or a lot. Oops.
It’s not my fault; she’s easy to talk to. She probably got to know more than she ever wanted to about me, emotional me. Broken me.
It’s funny, most of the people I feel close to, say they don’t play well with others.
We are a band of misfits.
We work well with each other.
I’m happy to know them.
I had someone tell me the other day that he really hoped that I would be able to make it to some event. It’s really telling about my trust level that my first thought, when someone (outside of family) invites me somewhere, is usually along the lines of: Why? So you can laugh at me for believing you when you pull a no show? Or so you can laugh and tell me that you didn’t mean it when I show up?
These thoughts have led me to back out of more outings than I can count. Those thoughts, plus the thoughts that if someone truly got to know me that they would run far, far away. This is why I run first.
I wish I knew the source(s) of these fears. I cannot stop them. I’ve tried.
Do, do you got a first-aid kit handy?
Do, do you know how to patch up a wound? Tell me….
-Damaged, Danity Kane
I may have left high school behind long ago, but it, apparently, has not left me.
- I’m still the girl who’s too weird to hang out with the cool crowd, let alone be accepted or welcomed by it.
- I’m still the girl who tries her hardest to be helpful so she’s not forgotten.
- I’m still the girl who trusts too much or not at all.
- I’m still the girl who’s broken beyond belief in ways she has yet to comprehend.
- I’m still the girl who won’t let anyone get too close for fear that they may not like what they find.
This might be too close. Can’t lose what friends I don’t have, right?
Another blatant procrastination post.
I should be writing…something. A fic I promised, a review of someone else’s awesome fic; something other than this post. And……….I’m not really writing here either. Ha. Watch some btr-related videos instead!
Here’s something from my newest obsession (which you can thank shisou_eimin for):
I just may love Benedict Cumberbatch. I already loved Martin Freeman.
The first protests. Don’t fight it, John!
I’ve said this to her, and I’m not sure why, but I can picture shisou_eimin shooting up a wall because she was bored too. Love ya, M!
Alright, I’ve wasted enough time. Post done.
I should be writing instead of listening to this song on repeat. I’ve missed you, Blink 182; don’t leave me again.
I hear her call “Sweet dreams”,
but forget how to dream.
-That’s The Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be, Carly Simon
This might be a slight continuation of last night’s post. Please forgive me.
I’m insane. There’s no other explanation for it. Why else would I say that I would write something for a second person? Especially when it should be clear that I am not creative in the slightest?
Ok, I am looking to challenge myself and I love both of these girls, so I’m willing to twist myself inside out to make it work. Except I’m lazy. The first girl knows this, the second probably does not.
On the bright side, they both claim to have the same affliction.
I don’t want to disappoint either of them. Which is what I feel like I’m doing. On top of this blatant procrastination.
I hope to get some research done tomorrow (or later tonight) for girl #2. I’m so very tempted to ask her if I can make her’s rpf to make things easier on myself, but that feels a bit like cheating. I will do as she asked without distorting it to suit my needs.
Arghhh. Someone stop me. Or help me. You choose.